Recently I came across many ‘reclaim your power’ posts on Instagram, and while this all sounds nice, I’m asking, why should we be empowered (or why aren’t we) and how can you actually achieve this? Reading however positive or uplifting content won’t do the trick.

Being fully in my personal power, being sovereign, is what I intend for myself, and what I wish to guide my clients into, and wish for everyone to experience.

So how does it feel like, or look like to be in power, being sovereign? What does it mean? Looking at the physical aspects, it means having energy in the first place and secondly, owning your energy. Imagine you are sick, having a cold, headaches, or that you are depressed (low energy level), or experiencing anxiety, brain fog etc. Your energy will be low, and/or it is spent a lot on managing symptoms. It will be more difficult to take care of things you love to do, taking care of what is meaningful for you. Then this might even add to feeling less empowered, helpless about it, there might be shame or judgement coming from yourself or the outside world, why you can’t get those things done that are important for you. It can be a vicious cycle, which can be broken by raising the energy level, by changing habits, like eating better, sleeping better, more activity or more rest/ creating balance, less destructive habits, detoxing, more time in nature and so on. Often, this can be quite simple, and the simplest things can be very effective and efficient and come at a low cost. Most of it is for free! Yet, many times people search for complicated solutions outside of simplicity and start engaging in too many activities, courses, retreats etc. and while they can be beneficial, it can also lead to an overspending of energy (and a constant search outside of the self). Another example, when we crave high energy and don’t know how this naturally feels, the high is achieved by firing off a lot of energy, let it be through drugs including caffeine, sex, clubs, festivals and concerts etc. Then these highs are usually followed by a low, a crash of energy. Now too much of a good thing and even of activities that are considered healthy self-care, like yoga, meditation and sports can deplete the energy level. We live in a culture that is overactive and constantly emphasizing action, so that despite being a ‘rest day’ or self-care day, the day gets filled to the brim and has its own to-do list. At this point, I like to invite my clients (and myself too) to experience nothingness, the feminine current I refer to, back into balance, to receiving and experiencing nurturing qualities, which is quite unusual for some and requires re-learning, and at the same time so needed, to simply be.

Coming back to personal power: the second aspect I mentioned, owning your energy is equally important, it brings awareness of your own energy, in a physical felt sense, and noticing when you lose energy. So, when around people, places, situations, or foods you eat, things you consume, notice when you leak energy. Noticing this is very valuable in reclaiming energy and power. It doesn’t mean that one must avoid certain people or places altogether. It can be helpful sometimes; in some cases, it is not possible to avoid them, and then we can learn how to set boundaries and how not to leak. Let’s take the dynamics of narcissist – victim. A lot has been written about narcissism, and I don’t want to get deep into it here, but just look at the dynamics. Yes, the narcissist is manipulating and abusing power and using force and control to achieve his goals. Yet it is also the other side, the victim, who allows the leakage, and that their power is taken away. It may sound unfair at first, to ‘blame’ the victim, and not only the abuser, but it is the way out of victimhood and reclaiming power to take responsibility for one’s own energy and that might mean setting firm boundaries to a narcissistic person! And I don’t say it is always easy. And this is a rather extreme example, and it can happen in much subtler ways, and we meet people whom we trust and perceive as nice and empathic, and still, if we are not in our power, or not aware of ourselves, we can leak our energy. And to a certain extent it always happens, and we are all always taking a bit of energy from each other, which is part of life. It does depend on the degree it happens, and if you tend to give out way more than you receive.
Then, there are times when we are able to give out so so much and receive back from source, and it happens in a very natural way. This summer, I had the chance to observe a swallow family having their nest nearby, and the swallow parents flying endlessly and tirelessly back and forth feeding their chicks. Have you ever heard of a swallow parent having a burn-out, because the task is so tiresome? Or the parents fighting about who brought more worms to the offspring? Nature provides us, and connection to source, and human parents too can go through parenthood without crashing, if there wasn’t the goal of being back to work quickly, being fit and back on stage 3 weeks after birth…the constant rushing through everything contributes at lot in losing power.
Another detail of energy leakage is giving away power to seemingly ‘better’ people, or to authorities. We need to delegate tasks sometimes, and co-create with others, and trust them when we do so. Giving power or energy away happens when we think or believe that there is another above us, and that unfortunately happens especially relating to health issues (the gods in white) but also in spiritual circles. The other is higher, more enlightened or whatsoever more and we aim to get there too, not noticing that we give energy away. A good teacher will truly empower the students (guiding them into re-membering) and seek to avoid this scenario. However, it needs the willingness of all involved to take responsibility for one’s own energy. This applies for our intimate relationships as well which I will leave out for now and explore in deeper context later.

We see that it is not just about having physical energy, and if it was so, athletes would be the most powerful people. This brings me to blocks on the way to power / sovereignty. For many, especially sensitive and intuitive people, power holds a negative image, similar to money, which is a currency for power in the current system, and this negative image is buried in the subconscious, until we get to dig there and look at it. The subconscious beliefs about power can be very stubborn and can deter us from creating the life we dream of.  As long as we believe, for example, that power is negative, because it can be abused and distorted, as it has been so many times in the past, we might shy away from stepping into our own power and our best intentions get self-sabotaged. Power brings responsibility. Now, responsibility sounds like the thing we all want, being responsible and not being reactive, not acting out of old patterns linked to trauma. And then it is intimidating too, being truly powerful. Let’s be honest, being very powerful and at the same time lacking moral or ethical internal standards is very destructive and causes suffering and harm, and we can see this happening over and over again.  

Transforming the subconscious beliefs, we are holding around power is essential on the path into sovereignty, and when working with them, a lot of pain can show up, and resistance too. In our current system, the old way, that started to crumble, the power -over is still the status quo, competition, win-lose mentality. So many are tired of it, and are longing for something new, for power and power, neither over or under, but for connection and community. For this to happen, I believe, we will learn allowing ourselves to be in our power, and allowing others the same, transmuting fears around this topic. And it also means giving up the extra control, the over efforts. So it goes back into our bodies, where we can learn to be able to hold power, to hold more energy in our vessel, without fear, and we allow ourselves to relax into it, in a natural way. It is so interesting to see it reflected in the body, for some power means learning to relax (extra effort, control, muscle tension) for others it might mean learning to have a strong center and increasing power and stamina. The inner (subconscious) and outer (body/material world) go hand in hand and influence each other.